The Great Wall, Houhai Lake, Bell and Drum towers, hutong, subway rides, Forbidden City, Temple of Heaven, acrobats, foot massages, cool coffee shops, public street dancing, fine dining and juicy Peking Duck.

I'm applying to the Guinness Book for the Beijing 24-hour tour-guide record.

My New Zealand friends arrived at lunchtime on Friday and departed the capital early Sunday morning. The Kiwi clan experienced more in Beijing in 24 hours of sightseeing (I don't include sleeping) than they had over the past week of their China travels. Hong Kong was a hoot and Guilin was gorgeous, but Beijing blew them away.

My group of six consisted of four men in their early 40s and a couple, Mary-Anne, 56 and Chris 60. Any group larger than six or seven becomes a nightmare because of the free-roaming factor. Time is wasted by looking for lost friends instead of looking at interesting things.

Friday, 12pm: Airport. I hire two tiny mini buses, operated by Chinese who don't speak English, but 1,000 yuan ($135) talks any language and all goes well. We scale the Mutianyu section of the Great Wall.

Matthew and Allan had never left New Zealand and were silenced by the grandeur. They charged up the ancient bricks, clicking away. The older couple ran out of puff on the steep steps. This was a sign for later, and I started hatching two alternative plans for Saturday.

Friday, 7:30pm: Yunnan restaurant. "This is the best food we have eaten in China," says Chris, a comment. Amateur tour guides take note: Always serve up a brilliant restaurant to your guests on the first night.

Saturday, 9:30pm: Houhai Lake. We watch couples dance in public. Some of the boys join in. Our hutong wanderings lead us towards the commanding Bell and Drum towers, then a nice nightcap at a cozy, stylish bar. "Beijing is very old and very hip," they say.

Saturday, 8am: Tian'anmen. Ride the new No 5 subway to Tian'anmen and the modern infrastructure runs like clockwork. We roam the Square and later explore the Forbidden City. I hire a Chinese tour guide thinking, "maybe they can digest two hours of 600-year history". I was wrong.

After 90 minutes, they're bored with dynasty details. After leaving the Forbidden City, Mary-Anne laughs at a little dog dressed up in a pink jumper. She thinks it was more interesting than the emperor's throne.

Saturday, 1pm: Western comfort food. A pasta lunch charges our batteries, and then I lead them to the hutong for coffee and foot massages.

Saturday, 5pm: Acrobats. Young men fly four meters in the air and land on a chair balancing on a pole. Goofy smiles remained fixed for about an hour on a row of six Kiwi faces.

Saturday, 7:30pm: Peking duck. Over dinner they did their sums. The two days cost $170 each covering accommodation ($45 a night for twin share) and all the activities. However, they all said their Beijing experience was priceless.

Saturday, 10:30pm: My home.

I collapse.

(China Daily 11/27/2007 page20)