I should be doing more than designing clever ways to make students talk. Sure, within the parameters I operate in the classroom, I have all kinds of opportunities to bond with my students, spot and identify at-risk kids and become more than a teacher to those who need it. I have time to tutor those who want extra help. And I have all kinds of energy to get involved in English club activities. I feel that doesn't do much good when, year after year, kids parade through my classes with only rudimentary knowledge of English (certainly not enough to pass an exam, let alone get along in the outside world). Why console them after failure when I could help prevent failure altogether?

I want to be a 'real' teacher.

There are several problems with that, the biggest one being that the kids are not learning proper English to begin with. Intricacies such as verb tenses and punctuation seem to be ignored. They are being taught English in Chinese and never seem to get over the concept of thinking in their native tongue and translating. My choices are: discredit my colleagues' efforts and teach students the finer points of English, or ignore the problem, as I have been doing.

Nested inside that challenge lays another challenge, lecturing. I do not agree that a pure lecture format is the best way to teach. But engaging students in 'nuts and bolts' learning takes a level of skill I'm still working to hone. As I've never been called to actually teach anything, I'm still searching for an effective balance between imparting knowledge and providing the arena and atmosphere necessary to exercise that knowledge (let alone creating activities that would offer a suitable arena). What type of game can one play that involves properly conjugated verbs?

The second stumbling block is the kids themselves. When they come to our college, to one degree or another they are already lost as far as understanding English is concerned. Some hide behind shyness or seeming incomprehension, often calling on their peers to help them understand what is being said. Most never ask for any explanation or clarification. While most remain motivated as freshmen, by sophomore year, phones and social lives dominate. Thus, the possibility of properly educating anyone dwindles.

This year, for the first time since I've been here, juniors are required to take Oral English classes. I have to come up with all new material for their third year in my class. That's one of the perks of my particular position, I have no curriculum to follow and have free reign to design any lesson I choose. My creative juices flow, my PPT hums, ideas so bright they pop like klieg lights. And then I found out how despondent everyone was over their TEM-4 results.

Their tears and dejection decided me. With all due respect to my Colleagues' efforts, this semester I've opted for lessons in verb tenses, punctuation, and condition sentence construction. As far as I know, Oral English plays no part in TEM-4, so I might as well use the time I have with these kids to teach them how to conjugate rather than to role play in bad English.