To give, or not to give gifts to teachers on Teachers' Day, that is the question facing Chinese parents whose children are in school.

If they decide to give a present, what should it be? And if they decide not to, will their children be discriminated against in class, especially if other parents choose the other option?

Teachers' Day has become a heavy mental, if not financial, burden for ordinary Chinese parents. It is a time when parents wrack their brains to decide between the two options or to single out one among an assortment of teachers for their gifts.

Sixty percent of the respondents to a survey conducted by an Internet forum in Guangzhou, Guangdong province, a few days before the Sept 10 Teachers' Day said they had given presents to their children's teachers at least once.

Several surveys conducted by major Internet portals or forums in China in recent years indicate that a majority of Chinese parents are haunted by the problem of choosing between giving and not giving presents to teachers on or just before Teachers' Day. Preferred presents usually include a bouquet of flowers, fruits, watches, and in some cases, luxury handbags, jewelry, and a voucher or shopping card. Even cash is paid to and overseas trips are organized for teachers, according to some surveys.

With the rise in China's household income in recent years and the ever-growing importance attached to children, some parents are becoming increasingly extravagant with gifts for teachers. This phenomenon has made the gift market for teachers exceptionally profitable in China.

Had gift-giving not become so commercialized, giving a present to hardworking teachers, most of whom devote their lives to make better citizens out of our children, would not have become controversial. Offering a symbolic gift to a teacher is a show of respect from a student and his/her parents or an expression of gratitude. The People's Republic of China re-established Teachers' Day in 1985 to thank teachers for their hard work and bestow on them the honor they deserved.

However, an expression of gratitude to teachers has become a pursuit of personal interests of rich parents now that commercialization has penetrated almost every aspect of society.

Many parents today believe that giving a good present is a way of getting closer to teachers from whom their children will receive "special" care. Gifts are no longer an uncontaminated expression of gratitude to teachers. Some parents have even tried to use lavish gifts to "bribe" teachers to try and get their children some "special honors", such as a place on the "three-good-student" list that increases their chances of getting admitted to key institutions for higher studies in the future.

Given the importance of the relationship between Teachers' Day gifts and children's future, some parents nowadays compete with each other to shower teachers with luxury gifts, burdening lower-income parents with financial problems and raising widespread concern.

According to a recent survey conducted by www.dayoo.com, most parents choose to give a gift to teachers mainly for two purposes - to ensure that their children are treated equally in school and/or to guarantee that they get some "special" treatment. In fact, such efforts of parents are rewarded most of the time, as surveys indicate. Many parents who have responded to surveys said teachers accord priority to students who give them generous gifts.

Worried about the growing popularity of gifting expensive presents to teachers, some people have suggested that Teachers' Day be abrogated. In 2010, an online proposal, titled "Whether or not Teachers' Day should be cancelled", was supported by 94 percent of the respondents, because the respondents believed that giving gifts had become a big problem for students and their parents.

Not all teachers enjoy the gifts they get from their students' parents. "We resent some parents' behavior, because we know they do this for utilitarian purposes rather than out of respect for teachers," is how a teacher responded to a survey. He was corroborated by others. Some teachers even said they usually make a painful choice between accepting a gift, for which they believe they would lose their dignity, and refusing it, which would make parents unhappy.

Some 10 well-known elementary and middle schools used the Ministry of Education's website this year to jointly appeal to teachers across the country to decline gifts from students and their parents, drawing widespread attention. The appeal has resonated strongly across society and has been welcomed by many parents.

It is understandable and acceptable that students give a card or a token gift to teachers to show their respect and gratitude to their teachers. But social justice degenerates into commerce when gifts are used by parents to ensure that their children get "special" treatment from their teachers or are not discriminated against.

Giving presents with ulterior motives instead of respect for teachers shows that parents no longer have the same trust in teachers and schools. Educators and education officials should take practical measures, such as adopting explicit regulations prohibiting "trade" in gifts between children's parents and teachers to cleanse schools of the gift-giving malaise and restore the lost trust between teachers and parents. And parents should try to avoid jumping onto the gift-giving bandwagon.

The author is a writer with China Daily. wuyixue@chinadaily.com.cn

(China Daily 09/11/2012 page9)