These wives aren't desperate, they're toxic
(Stuff.co.nz)Updated: 2007-03-12 13:46
LONDON: They are flirtatious, love to target older men, are weighed
down with designer accessories and within minutes of meeting a man want to know
his bank balance.
Watch out! Toxic Wife Syndrome is rampant and droves of gold diggers are prowling in search of rich prey to join the tribe.
So says British journalist Tara Winter Wilson whose guide to spotting a potential toxic wife touched a raw nerve with hordes of victims contacting her about the so-called syndrome.
Her warning is stark: "Unless you marry an equal who is going to pay her own way, you will end up with a lazy, indulgent, over-pampered slug."
"Marriage is being clouded by Toxic Wife Syndrome. Ridiculous amounts of money keep being awarded to these women in divorce settlements."
Winter Wilson, staggered by the flood of heartfelt feedback she got after first naming the syndrome in a lifestyle article for the Daily Telegraph newspaper, said: "Many women see it as a career choice."
"After leaving university, they stay on the party circuit until they trap someone. They try to get the most by doing the least. They develop an extraordinary sense of entitlement, becoming very judgmental and shrewish," she told Reuters. She said she had hate mail from women who accused her of being a misogynist who also betrayed feminism.
Stoutly defending her stand, Winter Wilson argued: "The toxic wife is a complete disservice to women. It does us no favours. Stay-at-home mothers should be applauded, not reviled."
"I think the stigma of being at home and looking after children should be taken away. The toxic wife thinks she is above it all. It makes me burn with anger."
She was prompted into print after a young male banker approached her at a party and "whispered that I would be doing a good service if I could write about the high maintenance wife scenario."
The danger signals of a wife going toxic are all too plain:
She gives up work to care for the children and then sends them to
boarding schools as soon as they outgrow their nannies.
She demands wall-to-wall help with a maid hired to work up to 14 hours a day six days a week.
Cooking and housework are strictly out of bounds
They have to live in a country mansion, forcing the husband to commute daily to London.
"I have had feedback from readers around the world recognising the syndrome. In America, many people wrote in about their toxic wives," she said.
So, does she practice what she preaches?
"I married for love but sadly am divorced. I pay my ex-husband one pound a year in alimony and he pays me one pound. We have two children. I have them one week and he then has them one week. They are unbelievably sane, happy and confident."
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