Our fish-oil maestro lists out all diseases associated with fish-oil deficiency: arthrosclerosis, arrhythmias, fear of swimming pools - you name it.

He guarantees that we will never find his product elsewhere since it is made exclusively for these special tours, due to the rarity of the fish. Therefore, we should stock up and buy three bottles instead of just one!

After a considerable queue in front of yet another "briefing room", we are finally ushered in where a "Master" greets us. This one claims that his jade combs, when used with knowledge and skill, will stimulate hair growth. A lot of our fellow tourists are very interested in this lecture, especially those who still have hair.

Of course, we are given the opportunity to acquaint ourselves better with the combs at the jade shop which lies just beyond the door. It is no use trying to hide in the hall for they find you and lead you back into the shop - I would probably have done better faking a heart attack if I was not concerned that they would try to cure me with a bottle of fish-oil tablets.

I am not saying that I did not enjoy my free tour. It makes me smile to think of how good-naturedly people accept this coerced advertising, even during a so-called relaxing tour. In fact, one of my older fellow tourists did buy a bottle of fish-oil tablets. He claims it will do his puppy some good!