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Humor Joke 幽默笑話

中國日報網英語點津為您精選語言地道的英語笑話，開心學英語。

金剛后代

2012-05-04 10:23
Girlfriend: One of my ancestors was actually a king. Boyfriend: I never knew you were a desendant of King Kong.

一美元

2012-05-02 10:33
Teacher: If you had one dollar and you asked your father for another, how many dollars would you have? Vincent: One dollar.

我該用哪個器械

2012-04-26 09:52
A man asks a trainer in the gym: "I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?" The trainer replied: "Use the ATM outside the gym!!!"

給兩條金魚起名字

2012-04-24 09:58
A man had two goldfish, he named one of them "One" and the other "Two". He did this because...if one died, he'd still have two.

哪一部分？

2012-04-13 10:35
A: "I was born in California." B: "Which part?" A: "All of me."

為什么母雞腿短？

2012-04-12 10:47
Son: Why are hen's legs so short? Dad: You're a fool. If the hen's legs were too long, wouldn't they drop their eggs into pieces when laying?

2012-04-11 09:59
A woman said to an old man. "I couldn't help noticing how happy you look. What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke 3 packs of cigarettes a day, drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing. How old are you?" "26."

誰跳得更高

2012-04-10 09:28
Q: Can a kangaroo jump higher than the Empire State Building? A: Yes, because the Empire State Building can't jump!

你是下一個

2012-03-30 10:00
When I was young I didn't like going to weddings. My grandmother would tell me, "You're next." However, she stopped doing that after I started saying the same thing to her at funerals.

神奇的嬰兒

2012-03-29 10:32
A: Did you hear that a baby was fed on elephant's milk and gained twenty pounds in a week? B: That's impossible. Whose baby? A: An elephant's.

去動物園

2012-03-28 09:56
"My husband is so ugly that when he goes to the zoo he has to buy two tickets: one to get in and one to get out."

不僅，而且

2012-03-27 09:25
Student: My mom is not only fat but also thin, not only tall but also short. Teacher: Is your mom "transformer"?

大猩猩的鼻孔

2012-03-22 09:55
Why do gorillas have big nostrils? Because they have big fingers.

你應該上電視

2012-03-16 11:16
Boyfriend: How is my guitar skill? Girlfriend: You should be on TV for your talent. Boyfriend: Am I so good?

和父親同歲

2012-03-12 10:02
Teacher: How old is your dad? Student: He is as old as I am. Teacher: How is it possible?

給我打輛出租車

2012-02-29 09:29
A: Hey, man! Please call me a taxi. B: Yes, sir. You are a taxi.

只有斑點

2012-02-24 09:42
Patient: I think I'm spending too long on the computer, I'm starting to get spots in front of my eyes. Doctor: Have you seen an optician?

沒電

2012-02-16 09:56
Mike: Mum, I want to watch TV. Mum: There is no electricity tonight.

一則廣告

2012-02-15 09:07
A newspaper carried this classified ad, "The man who picked up my wallet on Market Street was recognized. He is requested to return it."

頭條

2012-02-14 09:37
While taking photos of a bear eating fish in the forest, two journalists found the annoyed beast turned around to chase them.

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