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No need of a degree for happy marriage
By Pan Haixia (China Daily)
Updated: 2006-02-24 05:35
SHANGHAI: What makes a happy marriage? A recent survey conducted by Shanghai
Women's Federation shows that men with lower academic degrees than their wives
are happier than those with higher or similar degrees. And the happiest marriage
is achieved when both spouses draw a similar income.
The survey, which polled 769 married people between the ages of 27 and 37
with bachelor degrees or above, found that men with lower educational
achievements than their wives obtained higher marks with regards to marital
happiness. The same high marks were found with women who married lower-educated
husbands.
"Husbands older than their wives" are still the happiest with regards to age,
but the differences are slight, the survey found.
"It shows the old value system that 'women should be less established and
less qualified than men' does not necessarily entail a happy marriage," said Lu
Jianmin, the main researcher.
As in other cities, Shanghai has got more and more career women who find it
difficult to seek a suitable partner.
At the Jinguoyuan Matchmaking Agency, one of the largest matchmaking agencies
in Shanghai, about seven women sign up to every three men.
At a recent match-making event the agency organized for single university
teachers, the proportion between men participants and women participants stood
at an even more embarrassing ratio of one to nine.
"Highly educated women with high social positions in their 30s are amongst
the most difficult groups in terms of seeking the right match in our agency,"
said a man with the agency surnamed Yu.
"The problem does not just lie with men, who still tend to look for a young
and not-so-ambitious bride. Many women remain shy of marrying anybody younger,
shorter and less qualified than themselves."
A recent survey of its 286 clients, conducted by the match-making agency,
found that 85 per cent of all men and 75 per cent of all women think that the
perfect match is when the man is older. The preferred age gap is three years,
but the older the man becomes, the bigger the age gap they desire in a future
wife.
For example, many of the men aged above 35 want their brides to be at least
four years younger than them. This greatly reduces the room of choices for women
aged above 32.
Most men also prefer their future wives to be less qualified academically and
draw a smaller income. Only 7.6 per cent of men said they could accept their
future wives to have received university education or higher.
On the other hand, most of the women said they want their future husbands to
have at least a college education and earn no less than 3,000 yuan (US$370) a
month.
"Basically women feel more secure if they have successful husbands," said
Angela He, a 28 year-old white collar single in Shanghai.
But how do men think?
"If I earned a large enough salary, I definitely want to find a bride who can
be more of a housewife," said Li Feng, a white collar worker in Shanghai.
"The basic purpose of marriage is to create a home. How can we have a
well-settled home if both of us are busy everyday?"
As the situation of women in the marriage market gets increasingly worse, Lu
Jianmin suggested that women start to play a more active role in solving the
problem.
"Highly educated women should challenge social taboos and get married to a
man who is less educated, less successful, younger or shorter than her," Lu
said.
(China Daily 02/24/2006 page2)
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