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Despite the violence, the urge to marry remains strong. The Justice Ministry said it recorded 258,250 marriages last year, only 4,295 fewer than in 2004. Figures for this year have not been released.

Iraq requires all couples to marry in a civil ceremony, but many Shi'ite and Sunni Arabs also hold religious services at their receptions.

For families who can't afford a wedding at one of the few hotels or private clubs still open in cities, traditions have had to bend.

When Ali's family traveled to his bride's house to collect her for the reception, they packed into one car instead of the traditional, boisterous convoy of vehicles decorated with ribbons and balloons - with relatives firing guns in the air to celebrate.

Before the war, the party would have lasted all night. But the reception, which followed a brief civil ceremony and a blessing by a Shiite cleric, was timed to finish before dark.

Even so, some relatives didn't risk driving across Baghdad to attend the reception in Sadr City, the capital's large Shi'ite district and frequent site of violence.

Those who did attend enjoyed a peaceful ceremony and quickly ate a modest buffet meal on plastic tables set up on a narrow street outside the home.

Ali's family also toned down its celebration for a second imperative: to honor a family next door that was still grieving for a son, a Shi'ite militiaman killed in fighting with rival Sunnis.

During Saddam Hussein's rule, musicians at wedding receptions were required to play songs glorifying the ruler.

Ali's parents said they were glad to be rid of that tradition, but would honor another, older one: to bring the newlyweds honey and "kahi" pastries after their first night together, to ensure them a good life and a handsome boy as their first child.

Ali's mother, Qasmia Nanama, called the modest wedding a victory.

"So many people are dying now, I want my son to be married and have children," she said. "I pray that Iraq can one day be happy again."

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