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for Health
There is lots of hugging in our family. I an not too macho to say that at age
thirty-seven the first thing I want to do when I see my father is to hug him.
(Mom too, but that seems more "normal" in our sometimes counterproductive
western civilizatinon.) My daughter is now seventeen months old. One of the
words she now understands is hug. If I ask her to 'Go hug your grandma,' she'll
do it. More importantly to me, if I say "Come hug Daddy," she will happily do
that too.
I've noticed in the past few days how completely alive i feel when she is
hugging me, regardless of what is on my mind, positive or troubling, prior to
the hug. Her hug changes my world. This morning before I left for a business
trip my seven-year-old son got up early to say goodbye to me. The best part of
this goodbye was a big hug---initiated by him. This morning I reheard, on a tape
a fact about hugging. The speaker said that most people get far too few hugs
each day. The research cited on this tape said that we need eight hugs a day for
maintenance and twelve per day for growth.
Hugging is a way of connecting with others, of showing your genuine affection
and appreciation, of valuting others, and of giving. All of these are positive,
healthy, life enhancing purposes. While hugging is natural and we all know how
to do it, I have put together some guidelines to help make you a better
hugger.
1. Begin the hug with great eye contact. This communicates to the receiver
the spirit in which the hug is being given.
2. Be present during the hug. Even if the hug is only for three seconds,
devote your total energy and focus on the person you are hugging. Feel how good
it feels to both give and receive.
3. When you finish the hug and are pulling away, make great eyey contact
again. This further blesses the receiver, and communicates a positive feeling to
them.
4. A hug is not an opportunity to burp the other person! Be gentle. This goes
especially for the guys----a hug isn't the start of a wrestling match
either.
5. If you are much taller than the other person, bend your knees. Make the
hug comfortable and a blessing.
6. If you are hugging children, get on your knees and be at their eye level.
If they are small enough, pick them up to hug them.
All of
these guidelines are about making the hug a completely positive, giving experience. As in many
other things in our lives, when we think about others, we can
make better decisions. The same is true for hugs----hug with the huggee in mind!
Take a few minutes today to think about how often you give and receive hugs.
Remind yourself how it feels to be the receiver of a really good hug----how it
can improve your outlook and general emotional state. Ask yourself whose day you
could improve by giving them one or more hugs today.
The above content represents the view of the author
only.
