Modern woman's dilemma: career or family?
For more than half a century, Chinese women have had important roles in the workforce and gradually, the term jiating funv (the woman at home) has developed negative connotations, suggesting that those who do so are less able.
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“Some of my friends got divorced because their husbands had affairs after they turned housewives. People rarely understand how hard it is to be a full-time wife and mother,” says Hu Xiaocong, who opted to stay at home two years ago.
She says the Chinese are prejudiced against housewives, seeing them as somewhat anachronistic in modern society.
In contrast, being a full-time wife and mother seems much easier for the Chinese abroad.
“I’ve enjoyed being a housewife here by making friends with most of my neighbors, who are also passionate and energetic housewives. It makes me a part of the community very quickly,” says Wang Lilan, a 36-year-old mother of two girls. She is a former professor who now lives in Sydney.
Unlike housewives in China, Wang hires a nanny to take care of her younger daughter. She also has an hourly helper come in for housecleaning, and she sends her elder daughter to a local primary school so she has more time for herself.
“I prioritize my happiness, so I take part in activities in the community including cooking classes, sewing lessons and health lectures to add color to my life,” Wang says.
It is a trend that is also happening in China, with younger wives and mothers taking the lead.
In order to remain active in society, some young housewives are joining leisure activities to make new friends and preparing for the time they can get back to working.
“I’m tired of staying at home dealing with housework and I will go back to work sooner or later as I don’t want to end up being a so-called useless housewife,” says Huang Qian, a 31-year-old who is planning to find a job after her son starts kindergarten in the coming fall.
When she has time, Huang goes to the gym every two days to stay in shape, and learns to paint every weekend to meet people with the same interest.
“We realize we cannot be trapped in a small apartment with housework and children permanently, so we are trying to balance our own interests, social life and a happy family, ” Huang says.
