BIG proppers to reader garble for tipping us off to this EXCLUSIVE leaked itinerary, which lists and maps Tom Cruise’s forthcoming frenzied M:I3 publicity assault on Manhattan.

Captain Thetan is taking planes, trains, automobiles, speedboats and motorcycles across the entire city, stopping only to dance on cars, pump his fists in the air, and make bizarre, alienating statements his publicist wishes he wouldn’t! Expect him to be on his A-game, cranking the crazy up even higher - cause this time, he’s got a child to provide for!

With this exclusive guide, you too can experience The Cruise’s power and beauty, it’s shock and awe, up close and personal! Next Wednesday, May 3rd - Be There!