There are certain formulas that are immutable no matter the time, place or situation. 1 + 1 = 2. Boy meets Girl = Hope. Cold climate + vacation time = Beach resort.

No matter which side of the ocean, gulf or reef, when staying in a beach resort expect to encounter fruity cocktails with paper umbrellas, jockeying for the best poolside chairs, wallet numbing menu prices and enough flabby flesh to make you wonder if people at nudist colonies are legally blind.

With the cost ratio of sun: accommodations, airfare, food and the occasional tip, it's no wonder that some people never leave the grass huts of the resort.