With my sister visiting China for the first time, I wanted to show her something ancient - something that would allow me to fulfill my self-proclaimed role as Family China Expert by explaining and interpreting its cultural significance with grace and flair, all the while surrounded by natural splendor unspoiled by modern life even after thousands of years.

After helping her up the icy peaks of Huangshan, Anhui province, I was ready to recite my armchair thesis about the famous "Welcoming Guest Pine Tree". I wasn't, however, ready for "Mobilephone Stone".

I embraced this most meritorious pine tree that represents traditional Chinese culture and graces teacups and hotel lobbies across the land. Yet, no sooner had I launched into my pontification than I noticed my sister wasn't listening. So I canned my over-eager pedantry and read the sign by the potato-shaped boulder that she was absorbed in. It read: "Shouji Shi, Mobilephone Stone." She asks me.