And waiting to the women is a conscious decision; not a simple prayer wishing
for the right man.
"We girls can dress well and attract more men to have a larger pool from
which to choose," said Catherine Lin, a 30-year-old VIP customer relations
manager at a Beijing branch of a Singapore-based bank.
Another topic the women discussed was the strategy of waiting a long time, if
need be, for the right person versus following a "trial and error" path.
"Just date him," Lin said. "Dump him if he is not 'the one' and pick up
another."
But then, one of the women said that waiting was nothing but an excuse.
"I am not psychologically prepared for marital life," said Lillian Feng, a
28-year-old civil servant. Her 34-year-old boyfriend insisted that they get
married last year, and the two parted when Feng refused.
Women are demanding more time to prepare for marriage, said Wang, the
sociologist. In 1991, Wang said, Chinese women's first marriage was at an
average age of 22.2. In 1996, it was 24.2. The same year, in Shanghai, the
average age 25.3; in Beijing, 25.2.
Well-educated women are taking their time in preparing for marriage because
they don't need their husbands' money to support them, Wang said.
On the other hand, a woman's financial strength allows her the luxury of
caution in finding a partner, said Anita Wang, a 28-year-old lawyer at a foreign
law firm in Beijing's World Trade Centre.
"While conquering me, a man also conquers my big apartment," she said. "It is
so great a venture that I should take care not to give it to the wrong guy."
Parents less patient
Even so, the women acknowledged that members of their families are impatient.
"My mother has sworn that she'll bang her head against
the wall if I don't get married soon," Shen said.