Where do you want your parents to spend their twilight years? I've always thought my parents should do so in their own home, where they find peace of mind, body and soul.

The idea of my parents spending their old age in a public care facility never occurred to me until several months ago when, after a weekend family dinner, my mother told me that she and my father were thinking of looking for a nursing home after they had learned that some retirees were taken better care of there.

She said they were very worried about their declining health. A stroke left my father, 76, confined to bed and indoors for months two years ago, and he has since lived in constant fear of suffering another. My mother, 72, has developed some early symptoms of Alzheimer's disease. Although she is putting up a heroic fight against a fading memory, it is eroding her abilities to lead a normal life.