Be brave and beautiful for Internet dating

The lonely hearts of the world are taking their quest for a partner off the dance floor and out of the bars onto the Internet.

Many have learned that putting a personal profile on a matchmaking site and waiting for their prince or princess to reply isn't enough. Instead, like knights of old, one must set out on a quest and negotiate many tests when using the Internet to seek social contact.

Whether a person uses a flirt portal or a matchmaking website, the golden rule is don't be passive. "People who wait to be contacted have the slimmest chance of success," says David Khalil of Germany's eDarling.de.

So the first message to an interesting fellow member should be personal. "Standard e-mails are dismissed with a click," says Lisa Fischbach, a singles coach at a German website for elite matchmaking.

Filling out a profile at a flirt website is also an indispensable part of the process.

"We ask our users to answer 200 questions," says Khalil. "People who fill it out with the minimum amount of information won't stand out. To show commitment, applicants should also answer extra questions."

"Standard statements are meaningless," says Fischbach. "You should put an effort into filling out the questionnaire and the profile. It raises the chances of success."

Fischbach says the profile should include hobbies and desired travel destinations.

But above all, selecting a good profile photo is key. Looks create the first impression, on the Internet as well as in person.

Applicants should avoid telling lies about themselves, such as saying they weigh less than they do or are taller than they actually are, Fischbach warns. The truth will be revealed at the first meeting with a potential partner.

He also advises people to be creative when coming up with a pseudonym. Using one's own name with a number attached is totally inconspicuous and boring.

People using Internet matchmaking, also need to establish ahead of time what kind of relationship he or she wishes to form.

Along with portals for flirting and so-called dating cafes, there are the more targeted dating services that screen candidates before allowing them onto their lists.

People who just like to flirt should go to a site that's set up for that, says Fischbach. When a steady relationship is the goal, actual matchmaking services are more suitable.

To avoid unpleasant surprises, users should be careful with personal data. Name, address and telephone number - everything that could be used to identify a person - don't belong in such a portal, says Jan Bruns of a German magazine that tested the security of several portals. Despite their good matchmaking qualities, there were gaps in their security. Bruns says user registration data in many cases could be teased out of the website.

Other criticisms of the sites include their lack of transparency when it comes to how long a subscription lasts and what a subscription costs.

Nine million people in Germany alone have met a steady partner over the Internet, according to a new study by the IT association Bitkom.

German News Agency

(China Daily 06/25/2010 page18)