Li Fen, 29, from Mingguang of Anhui province, now works in Dalian, Liaoning province, as a back scrubber in fitness clubs. [Photo/chinadaily.com.cn]

My husband and I go back home only once a year, usually one month after the Spring Festival, for my son's birthday falls on the second day of the second lunar month. We stay for about 20 days.

We have left for work in Dalian since he was nine months old. It is my parents who take care of my son. My mother is 53 years old and in good physical condition. I feel great security leaving my son with her at home.

But every time I see children facing risk or disaster on the Internet or on TV, I feel pain. I can't help thinking too much. I call my mother and ask her to pay attention to various things, such as "Don't give him this to eat", "don't give him that to play", or something like that.

I call back at least once a week, usually every three to five days, asking whether he is doing well or not or what he wants.

Instead of mailing gifts to him, I send money to my mother and ask her to buy.

My parents spoil their grandson. He can be selfish and a bit of a bully sometimes. When we stay home and he does not listen to reason, I beat him.

I know it is better for me to take care of him by myself.

I miss him a lot when I see children of his age accompanied by their parents going out for a walk after supper in the community I'm living in. But I must work outside.

Almost all the young men and women of my home town are working in big cities. Only old people and children are living in the town.

We don't want our son to be inferior to others.

Though he is only a kindergarten baby, he already faces comparison. I’m trying to give him what the other children have.

We have been accustomed to such a life.

You asked me how much money is enough for me to go home, I can only tell you, money is never enough. If we save 200,000 yuan ($33,000), we buy a car and nothing will be left. If we have 500,000 yuan, buy an apartment and we must start from zero again.

We must keep making money outside.

Someday, when my son grows old enough that my parents cannot control him, I will go home.