Handle with care

In some cases, however, it is impossible to have a couple reconcile. In these cases, court officials will help the couple work out a settlement.

Wang said she knows how a court ruling can affect the lives of the parties involved. Sometimes, those who feel the ruling is unfair in a divorce case go to extremes, including committing suicide or physically hurting their ex-spouses. Such cases have taken place across China, she said.

Because of this, Wang and her team members have approached these issues with great caution.

According to Wang, most people who get to her tribunal are parents in their 30s or 40s. In many cases, wives take their husbands to court, complaining the bread-winners in the family are alcoholic, do not return home at night, neglect the family or inflict domestic violence.

In one case involving domestic violence, a desperate woman demanded a divorce after repeated abuse from her husband, who apologized after each act of violence against the woman but would soon beat her again.

During the trial, the woman lifted her shirt and showed the scars. She also displayed photos taken at hospital where she had been sent after her husband broke her ribs.

Their family is well-off, with a decent house and a car. Their only son attends senior high school in Lhasa, Wang said. "Even the son asked me to let the couple separate. 'My father beats my mother a lot,' he told me."

The couple was granted a divorce.

Court officials serve as go-betweens in family disputes, said Wang, the mother of a 25-year-old son who works on a firefighting force in Lhasa.

"As a mother, I can't help but feel sorry for a child whose parents are divorcing. If I fail once, I will always try another time to get them back together."

To be a qualified official at a family tribunal, one must learn to forget his or her superiority and authority in the court to some degree and try to listen sympathetically, Wang said.

Sometimes, one has to endure outbursts of rage and verbal attacks from bad-mannered couples.

In one of these cases, a woman who had a hard time accepting the reality that her husband was divorcing her warned Wang with harsh language not to interfere in the affair. Though startled by her rudeness, Wang calmly told the woman that the wife is on an equal legal footing with her husband in the issue, and she can resort to legal measures to claim her rights.

"Many people release their anger at us. They blame us if the evidence they provide is considered insufficient to support their claims. Some couples get out of control and even start to fight each other in court," Wang said.

According to Wang, demand for the custody of children is always the focus of a divorce case, and court officials will make the children's well-being a priority when making a ruling.

"In general, we follow the principle of giving the mother the right of child custodianship. But if the child has been raised by the father or the man's family in an inland city, we will consider giving the custodianship to the man," Wang said.

That's because the natural conditions and weather in inland cities are viewed much better than they are on the plateau.

Lessons from TV

In her leisure time, Wang is a fan of television programs that feature the mediation of varied family disputes. She said she can learn from lawyers, psychiatrists, judicial mediators and audiences' common-sense wisdom in these programs. She will also seek advice from her husband, a judge in a high people's court in Lhasa.

"We do not have high-profile cases in the tribunal. Our work demands heavy input and is most rewarding when we see a family that is on the verge of falling apart reconcile and function well again," Wang said.

Another task that Wang has embarked on in her position is helping young judges grow.

Ren Lijuan, one of Wang's younger colleagues, worked for four years dealing with civil cases before taking the job at the tribunal. She has witnessed a lot of lawyers representing both sides presenting evidence and engaging in arguments in court for their clients' benefits.

"But the family court is not aimed at deciding who wins the upper hand, but at finding a balance between both parties that they agree to and are comfortable living with," Ren said.

When she began working at the family tribunal in December, she had a strong belief that people were wrong to divorce and let their children suffer.

But Wang helped the young judge get rid of her biases and adjust to her new job.

"If a judge appears superior, critical and formidable, people won't tell what really bothers them. Only when people can trust the judge will they begin talking and reveal the root causes of their troubles," Wang said.

Contact the writers at liyao@chinadaily.com.cn and daqiong@chinadaily.com.cn