Society

A veteran's honor and shame after war

(Xinhua)
Updated: 2011-07-06 19:46

Erasing the stain

Ren went on to fight the Japanese in several locations across China, including the provinces of Shanxi, Hubei and Henan. Finally, the Japanese surrendered in 1945, leaving Ren with a tough choice to make.

"I had no money to go back home, so I decided to remain enlisted in the military, fighting in the civil war," he said. Ren retired four years later, returning to his hometown to work on a farm.

However, Ren's experiences would continue to follow him in the form of a diary that he kept during the 13 years he spent as a soldier. Ren carried two dictionaries with him at all times to ensure that his diary entries were written properly.

"Sometimes I wrote in the trench, sometimes I wrote in my tent. When we arrived at the Yellow River, I wrote in a wooden boat, listening to the sound of the river passing by," said Ren.

However, Ren lost the diaries upon retiring. "I'd been seriously injured at the time, actually. I very nearly died."

Ren wrote a second version of the diaries later, based entirely on his memory. With the arrival of the Cultural Revolution, Ren lost his diaries once more.

"I was criticized at public meetings because of my past. I had been a Nationalist soldier. The experience was a stain on my life, " he said.

Ren was accompanied by his wife until she passed away in 2003. Although the couple never produced any children, they did have a niece, who Ren later adopted. He now lives with his niece, her husband and their family, including his niece's 10-year-old grandson Lu Xuan.

Being asked what he wants to be when he grows up, Lu smiled and said "anything but a soldier. My great-grandfather opposes it."

Ren has been very open with Lu about his past, but his efforts are not always reciprocated. "He usually runs away, not particularly interested in listening," Ren said with a sigh.

Ren has paid several visits to the War of Resistance Against Japanese Aggression Memorial Hall. In 2005, he met the daughter of a former Nationalist official, who told him that the central government has acknowledged the contributions made by the National Revolutionary Army in warding off the Japanese invasion.

However, Ren has never been personally recognized for his contributions, nor absolved of his shame.

"I just want something to prove that my past in the National Revolutionary Army was not a shameful thing. I just fought the Japanese to protect my country. I'm old, but I want to erase this stain while I'm still alive," he said.