Xu Gaoyang, a psychotherapist at Beijing Anding Hospital, affiliated with Capital Medical University, said that the popularity of "love you, laoji" points to a fundamental psychological need: the search for stable, unconditional positive attention, which is often scarce in a society with rigid external evaluations.

He noted that this is a powerful countermeasure to the "excessive introspection" and self-criticism, that plagues many, such as feeling that "I am a failure" or "It's all my fault".

By adopting a "love you, laoji" mindset, individuals perform a healthy psychological adjustment, initiating emotional self-regulation that alleviates anxiety and protects self-esteem.

Xu particularly highlighted the power of using a third-person nickname. This simple linguistic shift creates crucial "psychological distance".

"When we experience difficulty or fatigue, using the third person allows us to step back, like a friend or observer," he explained.

This distance reduces the emotional intensity of a situation, leading to clearer thinking and a greater capacity for self-encouragement.

"In our culture, we're often more tolerant and understanding toward others. So when we think of ourselves as laoji, we can apply that same kindness inward."

Meng Man, a history professor at Minzu University of China, told China Youth Daily that "love you, laoji" is a reflection of young people's deep-seated desire to be seen and acknowledged.

"Why do young people always say,'Love you, laoji'? They truly hope someone sees them, someone pays attention to them," Meng said.

She draws a parallel between this trend and the popularity of "ugly-cute" toys among youth, like a poorly stitched, frowning plush horse. "It shows a mindset: 'This world and I might not be perfect, but it's still worth embracing,'" she explained.

Meng argued that this psychological state deserves serious attention and calls for strengthening "love education" from an early age. "I believe that only when a person has love within can they live with vitality and go on to create a better world," she said.

As "love you, laoji" becomes prevalent, a natural question arises: Where does healthy self-care end and mere self-indulgence begin? Xu, the psychotherapist, offered a clear distinction based on motivation and outcome.

Healthy self-acceptance starts with acknowledging one's limitations or current state, with the goal of understanding and accepting oneself, he explained. In contrast,"lying flat" or self-indulgence stems from a sense of fear or hopelessness — the feeling that "I will never succeed at this".

The follow-up action is also key. Healthy self-care allows for rest in moments of fatigue, but it doesn't abandon the goal. It permits a pause before trying again. Self-indulgence, however, often leads to long-term avoidance and giving up, he said.

"Loving oneself is not selfish. Only 'loving oneself too much' becomes selfish." He warned against the opposite extreme — a sense of shame associated with self-care, leading to self-neglect. "We often want to love others, but the prerequisite for that is learning to love oneself. Without it, it's hard to genuinely love others or life itself."

When everyone wants to re-learn how to love themselves, it reminds people of the need to find this self-compassion. It's a call for a more caring society, both from within and from without, he said.

"We should let people know that 'even though I'm a bit overweight, I still do well academically,' or 'even though my grades aren't great, I have many friends'."

When children and young people can view their own worth in such a diverse way, they can truly allow themselves to love themselves. Otherwise, if they always fixate on their own shortcomings, it becomes very difficult to practice self-care, he added.

Wang Nasi and Li Qianya contributed to this story.